Friday, November 21, 2008

Josephine Saves the Day

Sometimes you hear stories. Stories about the mistakes grown-up, intelligent, decent adults make in this job we call parenting. Stories that make you pause and take notice. Stories that may even leave you scratching your head and asking yourself, "Why on earth did they do that?" Or, "How exactly did that happen?"

Well, my friends, I'd like to share a story with you just exactly how something like "that" happened to me, just yesterday.

I ran in to Ingles to do some grocery shopping. I just needed a few things. I had just enough time to run in, get the stuff we needed, and get home before the bus brought Isabel home from school. I had my 3 littlest ones with me--Josephine, 4; Oliver, 23 months; and Abigail, 5 1/2 months.

We finished our shopping (in record time with 3 small children, I might add), checked out at the cash register, and headed back out to the car. I was feeling pretty confident.

I proceeded to get all 3 kids buckled into their car seats, so I could then load up the groceries into the van. It was then that I noticed a bottle of gingerbread flavored Coffee Mate that had somehow gotten lodged between Abigail's car seat and the shopping cart. I checked the receipt, and sure enough, they forgot to charge me for it.

Now any normal human being would have, at this point, just thrown the bonus bottle of delightful holiday flavored coffee creamer into the van with the rest of the loot and yelled "Score!" and then probably could have driven off, thinking that God had simply smiled on them that day, not ever giving it a second thought for the rest of their lives. Not me. Oh no. I was tempted. But I know myself. I would have been plagued with Coffee Mate guilt for the rest of my life. That's just the kind of person I am. I don't take anything, much to the chagrin of my poor, poor husband, lightly. I shop at this Ingles quite frequently since it's just two minutes from my house. And I knew that I could never, ever, from this day forward, after smuggling a stolen bottle of non-dairy creamer, ever be able to step foot into that Ingles with a clear conscience ever again. Every eye would be on me, even if they indeed were not. Every time I stubbed my toe or something else would go wrong, I would suspect that it was God getting back at me for not taking back the bottle or paying for it like I should.

I decided it just was not worth it. And, I, being the honest injun that I am, decided to go back inside and pay for the bottle of Coffee Mate.

Mind you, I am on borrowed time here, people. My five-year old is going to be home in just 15 minutes. I figured that it would require more time and more effort getting all 3 kids back out of their car seats by itself than it would simply running in and going through the self-check aisle with the pesky coffee creamer. I never leave them in the car by themselves. Surely, I thought, they will be fine this time, for just a few short minutes.

And I'm sure they would have been. I made sure I locked the doors. It's cool outside. Everyone was safe. I ran inside Ingles...

And realized I left my keys sitting in the front seat of my locked van.

Did I mention that I had 3 kids in that van???

Did I also mention that I had to be home in 15 minutes so that my five-year old didn't come home to a locked and empty home???

PANIC!!!!!!!!!!!!

I didn't have a spare key. I calmly start to coach Josephine to try to unbuckle her car seat. She's a pro at getting the top buckle of her 5-point harness undone, but not the bottom buckle. Her little fingers have just never been strong enough. So I am loudly encouraging her to try as hard as she can to press that red button.

"Honey, use all your muscles. Try harder." Fail.

By that time, I started to gather a crowd. Several baggers and Ingles patrons spotted me shouting to my daughter through the window. We were all coaching her. We even tried to get her to Houdini herself out of the buckle. "Can you wiggle out of it, Sweetie?"

Nope. Not in a Britax.

Several women at this point started offering me other solutions:

"Ma'am I'll call 911."

"Honey, can I drive you to your house so we can get your daughter?"

"Do you have anyone else that you can call? Anyone else that has a key?"

I didn't. There was nothing I could do at this point. Even if I went home with the kind lady that offered, I had no way in to the house. The garage door opener was in my car, as was my house key. So while I could be there to get Isabel when she got home from school, my 3 other children would have still been stuck inside the van in the parking lot at Ingles. Somehow, I just didn't think that was such a great plan. By then, the fire truck that was dispatched from the 911 call showed up. Oliver was very excited about this, even from inside the stuffy, locked van.

Meanwhile, Mama's trying not to have a nervous breakdown.

Just then, I hear a lady shout, "She's out!!!!" Jo, our sweaty little hero of the day, kept working at her buckle, until she finally got it. "Mama, I did it!" I heard her shout. She squeezed through the seats, and unlocked the door. Everyone cheered. And the good fireman of Barrow County totally wasted a trip, and your tax dollars, on us. We thanked everyone, raced home, and we pulled up right behind Isabel's school bus, as it dropped her off just before the moment we arrived.

Crazy day. Everyone was safe. God is so very gracious.

Life in a Nutshell (And a Whole Lot of Parentheses)

Wow. So I realize that I've probably lost all 5 of my readers due to my most recent blogging strike I've been on for the past month or so. I guess I've been too busy experiencing life to blog much about it. Since I last posted, we ended up NOT going trick-or-treating (instead we opted for a family fun night out at Chuck E. Cheese's-we were surprised to find we weren't the only weirdos there--it was pretty hoppin'); I turned 32 on the 1st (which was celebrated with an evening of fabulous dinner at P.F. Chang's, a viewing of The Changeling-which was fantastic, BTW, and the last twenty minutes of It's a Wonderful Life on a portable blow up screen outside the Mall of Georgia pavillion complete with chilly weather, a cuddly spouse, and Starbuck's--it was perfect); Jo turned 4 on the 15th (complete with an inflatable jumpy birthday party); and now we already find ourselves getting ready for Thanksgiving (are you even serious???) next week as we celebrate our first ever blended Borg/Buckland Family Thanksgiving.

I feel like I have a ton of stuff to blog about, and now I'm all backlogged and such. You should expect roughly 453 posts in the next few days as I try to catch up. Hey, it's feast or famine with me. It's the manic happenin'. I hope you're in the mood to read LOADS of semi-interesting anecdotes written by yours truly. I know, who wouldn't be, right?