Bonhoeffer on Advent

"Celebrating Advent means learning how to wait. Waiting is an art which our impatient age has forgotten. We want to pluck the fruit before it has had time to ripen. Greedy eyes are soon disappointed when what they saw as luscious fruit is sour to the taste. In disappointment and disgust they throw it away. The fruit, full of promise, rots on the ground. It is rejected without thanks by disappointed hands.

The blessedness of waiting is lost on those who cannot wait, and the fulfillment of the promise is never theirs…

Who has not felt the anxieties of waiting for the declaration of friendship or love? The greatest, the deepest, the most tender experiences in all the world demand patient waiting…

Not all can wait—certainly not those who are satisfied, contented, and feel that they live in the best of all possible worlds! Those who learn to wait are uneasy about their way of life, but yet have seen a vision of greatness in the world of the future and are patiently expecting its fulfillment. The celebration of Advent is only possible to those who are troubled in soul, who know themselves to be poor and imperfect, and who look forward to something greater to come.”

(Edwin Robertson, ed. and trans., Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s Christmas Sermons, (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2005), 20-21).

Christmas is Just Around the Corner and I'm...Excited???

We're already just about two weeks into December and, in typical Christmastime fashion, I have: a sinus infection that turned into a raging ear infection--complete with fluid behind my right eardrum that refuses to drain, leading to about a 30% temporary loss of hearing; kids--including the baby--with sinus infections and very hot pink eyes; a broken washing machine; a broken vacuum cleaner; a broken oven; my wonderful pre-lit SPNCT upon which entire sections of lights keep blowing out, branch by branch--I am afraid by Christmas it will be a pre-delit tree; a misplaced (read "lost") check; and, oh, and absolutely still no clue how we're going to survive this month financially and make Christmas happen to boot.

And yet, I find that I am actually kind of excited about Christmas this year.

*screech* "What the...???"

I know it's kind of strange considering the past few Christmases one can typically find me grumbling and complaining in the Bah-Humbug Lot along with Charlie Brown, the Grinch and ol' Uncle Ebenezer. And this year, as I look at the aforementioned circumstances and forward to our impending Christmas doom, I realize that the forecast isn't much brighter than it has been in previous yuletide seasons. In fact, I would say that things seem even tighter this year as we still have two hideously ugly vacant rental homes tied to our backs, which do not look like they're going to sell any time this century.

This time of year, I always find myself wishing that we could simply call the powers that be and, in the spirit of Christmas and holiday cheer, say, "Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors" and they be okay with that.

But, alas, that's not the world in which we live.

So, why on earth am I excited?

I am excited about the potential we have here. The opportunity. I am excited about what I get to see God do this year. I believe our circumstances are so shoddy that only God can help us. We have no where to look but up. No where to turn to but Him. In fact, I believe that we have all the necessary ingredients for a true Christmas miracle. Like, straight out of a movie. Let's examine them, shall we?

A decent family down on their luck? Check.

A plethora of tiny urchins? Check.

A man who has a positive attitude, generous heart, and could be mistaken for George Bailey? Check.

A curmudgeonly, bitter, angry character who's in desperate need of a heart transplant? Meh. Check.

I jest. But I am actually looking forward to trading in all my stodgy, stale, and materialistic Christmas traditions in order to give God the opportunity to truly move. Listen, I'm certainly not expecting a bail-out. I don't deserve it. We've made our beds. God owes us no favors. I guess I just realize that if we are going to be able to pay our bills AND give the kids at least a gift or two under the tree, that we are going to have to witness a true Christmas miracle. I never thought I'd feel this way, but it truly is a blessed place to be when you have no where to go, but God.

And to top it all off, in the midst of these cruddy circumstances, I feel like my heart may actually be growing a size or two. In each of the aforementioned scenarios, I find myself thankful for God's provision. I am thankful that my washing machine broke AFTER I extended the warranty, thus making the repair completely no charge. I am thankful for friends and family, who are completely willing and able to loan us their vacuum cleaners until we can afford to buy a new one of our own. I am so very thankful that I am able to stay home with my children and take care of them while they are sick, that I am not working and leaving them in the care of someone else. I am thankful that, even though my oven may be broken, at least the stove top still works. I am thankful that, even though things have been tight, we've never missed a meal. And for a self-professed foodie, that is quite a big deal.

And about those houses...Hey, at least we can give our first two daughters homes as wedding gifts. In 20 or so years.

I am able to see God's provision in all of this junk. It may not be exactly what I want or how I want it. But it's there. I can't deny it. God is providing. I'm finding that it really is true that God is in even the worst of circumstances. On my way to the urgent care facility the other morning, my ear on fire, I found myself praising God that I even had a facility like this to go. It was affordable, in close proximity, and clean. I mean, what do people do who don't have access to such common things to us as antibiotics? Seriously. Things that I take for granted. Things I think I am entitled to.

My blasted sense of entitlement has taken a bloody beating this year. I'm not looking to Him for what I feel He owes me. For what I feel I deserve. I don't deserve jack. Everything I have is a gift. I call upon His help because of Who He is. Because of His great love. His eternal mercy.

God, thank You for saving a wretch like me.

And that, my friends, is why I am excited. I want to encourage any of you who might be stressing out over the holidays, worrying about money, and presents, and such. I may not be able to send out fancy Christmas cards this year. I may not be able to do all the festive things that are supposed to boost my Christmas Spirit, yet do nothing but merely end up draining our wallets. But maybe this year, instead of complaining about all the things I don't have, and all the things I wish I had, and all the things I didn't get...maybe, just maybe, for once, I will be completely content, satisfied...even happy...with a roof over our heads, food on the table, friends and family by my side, and our health and sanity intact. Maybe even this year, a true Christmas miracle has already occurred.

A changed heart.

What more could anyone ever need?

Isn't that what this time of year is all about anyway???

God bless us. Everyone.

SHREK THE HALLS

Has anyone seen this yet? The kids and I DVRd it and we can't stop watching it. It's hilarious. I think it's quickly becoming one of my favorite Christmas specials.

Honestly, I think it's because it reminds me of some of my family get-togethers during the holidays. :)

Sunday Night Brain Dumpage

• We've had a very busy Thanksgiving weekend. Lots of family. Lots of fun.
• Hence, tonight was the first night we've gotten all the kids to bed at a decent time in about a week. I am enjoying the silence.
  
• The weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so delightful.
• I already have my Christmas tree up. I actually had it up before Thanksgiving. I've never done that before. I'm usually a stickler about that. Last November we had 5 Thursdays, meaning we had another week after Thanksgiving during which to put up and enjoy the Christmas tree. Thanksgiving seemed to come really late this year.
• I still need to put up the outside lights, but it's been so nasty outside. Wet and cold.
  
• Tomorrow's the first day of December. In the words of Charlie Brown, "Good grief!"
• I made an awesome turkey this year. And it wasn't that difficult. I will definitely be repeating this recipe again for future Thanksgivings. Thanks, Alton!
  
• Are you tired of leftovers??? I found an incredible recipe for turkey soup. I made it yesterday and it was a big hit. Whoever came up with the idea for "stuffing dumplings" is a freaking genius in my book. I recommend this recipe wholeheartedly.
• I sang at church today for the first time in over 3 years. I have been fighting a sinus infection, so I know I didn't sound my best. But I sure had fun doing it.
• Ren and I watched most of Dane Cook's Vicious Circle today after church. I found it to be pretty disappointing.
• The kids and I have all had sinus infections for over a couple of weeks now. Then, I woke up today from my afternoon nap, and my eye was red and full of gunk. Nice. So was the baby's. And so was Josephine's. Thank God we have pink eye drops already on hand.
• I know this is completely freaky and will potentially gross out several of my readers, but I found this to be quite an incredible tidbit of information.
  
• My dad is home visiting us for a week. He lives in Detroit due to his job. It's always nice to have him home with us.
• "Yo man let's get out of here. Word to your mother."

Happy Thanksgiving!

Well, our blended Thanksgiving went off without a hitch. We had both the Bucklands and the Borgs in the hizouse. And it was great. We all shared the load with the food prep, so it was easy on everyone. It was low stress and very joyful. I can't help thinking how blessed we are to have both sets of parents still with us and still very much a part of our lives.

I grew up in a military family, and many times in our lives we found ourselves in a new location isolated from family and friends. The thought of my poor mother preparing Thanksgiving dinner all by herself honestly made me want to weep. I can't even imagine it. All I had to do was the turkey, stuffing, and deviled eggs. And even that was plenty of work, my friends. I felt so blessed as I tackled my end of the Thanksgiving deal, and the rest of my family theirs. It was community and teamwork at its very finest.

I hope and pray that each of you had a very happy Thanksgiving. Now, on to Christmas!!!

Josephine Saves the Day

Sometimes you hear stories. Stories about the mistakes grown-up, intelligent, decent adults make in this job we call parenting. Stories that make you pause and take notice. Stories that may even leave you scratching your head and asking yourself, "Why on earth did they do that?" Or, "How exactly did that happen?"

Well, my friends, I'd like to share a story with you just exactly how something like "that" happened to me, just yesterday.

I ran in to Ingles to do some grocery shopping. I just needed a few things. I had just enough time to run in, get the stuff we needed, and get home before the bus brought Isabel home from school. I had my 3 littlest ones with me--Josephine, 4; Oliver, 23 months; and Abigail, 5 1/2 months.

We finished our shopping (in record time with 3 small children, I might add), checked out at the cash register, and headed back out to the car. I was feeling pretty confident.

I proceeded to get all 3 kids buckled into their car seats, so I could then load up the groceries into the van. It was then that I noticed a bottle of gingerbread flavored Coffee Mate that had somehow gotten lodged between Abigail's car seat and the shopping cart. I checked the receipt, and sure enough, they forgot to charge me for it.

Now any normal human being would have, at this point, just thrown the bonus bottle of delightful holiday flavored coffee creamer into the van with the rest of the loot and yelled "Score!" and then probably could have driven off, thinking that God had simply smiled on them that day, not ever giving it a second thought for the rest of their lives. Not me. Oh no. I was tempted. But I know myself. I would have been plagued with Coffee Mate guilt for the rest of my life. That's just the kind of person I am. I don't take anything, much to the chagrin of my poor, poor husband, lightly. I shop at this Ingles quite frequently since it's just two minutes from my house. And I knew that I could never, ever, from this day forward, after smuggling a stolen bottle of non-dairy creamer, ever be able to step foot into that Ingles with a clear conscience ever again. Every eye would be on me, even if they indeed were not. Every time I stubbed my toe or something else would go wrong, I would suspect that it was God getting back at me for not taking back the bottle or paying for it like I should.

I decided it just was not worth it. And, I, being the honest injun that I am, decided to go back inside and pay for the bottle of Coffee Mate.

Mind you, I am on borrowed time here, people. My five-year old is going to be home in just 15 minutes. I figured that it would require more time and more effort getting all 3 kids back out of their car seats by itself than it would simply running in and going through the self-check aisle with the pesky coffee creamer. I never leave them in the car by themselves. Surely, I thought, they will be fine this time, for just a few short minutes.

And I'm sure they would have been. I made sure I locked the doors. It's cool outside. Everyone was safe. I ran inside Ingles...

And realized I left my keys sitting in the front seat of my locked van.

Did I mention that I had 3 kids in that van???

Did I also mention that I had to be home in 15 minutes so that my five-year old didn't come home to a locked and empty home???

PANIC!!!!!!!!!!!!

I didn't have a spare key. I calmly start to coach Josephine to try to unbuckle her car seat. She's a pro at getting the top buckle of her 5-point harness undone, but not the bottom buckle. Her little fingers have just never been strong enough. So I am loudly encouraging her to try as hard as she can to press that red button.

"Honey, use all your muscles. Try harder." Fail.

By that time, I started to gather a crowd. Several baggers and Ingles patrons spotted me shouting to my daughter through the window. We were all coaching her. We even tried to get her to Houdini herself out of the buckle. "Can you wiggle out of it, Sweetie?"

Nope. Not in a Britax.

Several women at this point started offering me other solutions:

"Ma'am I'll call 911."

"Honey, can I drive you to your house so we can get your daughter?"

"Do you have anyone else that you can call? Anyone else that has a key?"

I didn't. There was nothing I could do at this point. Even if I went home with the kind lady that offered, I had no way in to the house. The garage door opener was in my car, as was my house key. So while I could be there to get Isabel when she got home from school, my 3 other children would have still been stuck inside the van in the parking lot at Ingles. Somehow, I just didn't think that was such a great plan. By then, the fire truck that was dispatched from the 911 call showed up. Oliver was very excited about this, even from inside the stuffy, locked van.

Meanwhile, Mama's trying not to have a nervous breakdown.

Just then, I hear a lady shout, "She's out!!!!" Jo, our sweaty little hero of the day, kept working at her buckle, until she finally got it. "Mama, I did it!" I heard her shout. She squeezed through the seats, and unlocked the door. Everyone cheered. And the good fireman of Barrow County totally wasted a trip, and your tax dollars, on us. We thanked everyone, raced home, and we pulled up right behind Isabel's school bus, as it dropped her off just before the moment we arrived.

Crazy day. Everyone was safe. God is so very gracious.

Life in a Nutshell (And a Whole Lot of Parentheses)

Wow. So I realize that I've probably lost all 5 of my readers due to my most recent blogging strike I've been on for the past month or so. I guess I've been too busy experiencing life to blog much about it. Since I last posted, we ended up NOT going trick-or-treating (instead we opted for a family fun night out at Chuck E. Cheese's-we were surprised to find we weren't the only weirdos there--it was pretty hoppin'); I turned 32 on the 1st (which was celebrated with an evening of fabulous dinner at P.F. Chang's, a viewing of The Changeling-which was fantastic, BTW, and the last twenty minutes of It's a Wonderful Life on a portable blow up screen outside the Mall of Georgia pavillion complete with chilly weather, a cuddly spouse, and Starbuck's--it was perfect); Jo turned 4 on the 15th (complete with an inflatable jumpy birthday party); and now we already find ourselves getting ready for Thanksgiving (are you even serious???) next week as we celebrate our first ever blended Borg/Buckland Family Thanksgiving.

I feel like I have a ton of stuff to blog about, and now I'm all backlogged and such. You should expect roughly 453 posts in the next few days as I try to catch up. Hey, it's feast or famine with me. It's the manic happenin'. I hope you're in the mood to read LOADS of semi-interesting anecdotes written by yours truly. I know, who wouldn't be, right?